16. Your cat door is retro-fitted with a garage door opener.

15. Confused guests constantly mistake you for a beanbag chair.

14. You always land on your spleen.

13. There have been fewer calls to the fire department, but there has also been a sudden upsurge in broken tree branches.

12. You have had a seventeen month pregnancy and there are still no kittens.

11. You no longer clean yourself unless you are coated in tuna juice.

10. Rosie O’Donnell fits through your kitty door without the aid of lubricants.

9. Your Cat Food dish has been replaced with a trough labeled “Lard.”

8. Your shiny coat of fur is now a fiery red polyester pants suit.

7. It’s no longer safe to lift your tail without a spotter.

6. You “stole breath” from all seven of the McCaughey septuplets — at once.

5. Larry King keeps trying to kiss you full on the lips.

4. You wait until the third bowl of food to start getting finicky.

3. You only catch mice that get trapped in your gravitational pull.

2. Your enormous gut keeps your hardwood floors freshly buffed.

and the Number 1 Sign of feline obesity…

You have more chins than lives.

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I have 2 cats whom love to be loved. Recently while petting both (at different times, of course; both like to be the center of my attention)near the base of their tail, I noticed they put their nose into the air, while rapidly licking at nothing, then starting to nibble on anything that is within reach. It looks like they are really enjoying this petting, but I can’t help but wonder if in fact they are enjoying this or is this some sort of reflex. This is something new, I’ve pet them in this area many times before but they have never behaved like this. Can this be related to a winter coat coming in (it’s still September and unseasonably warm).
Please help, I want to know if this is OK, any information you have would be greatly appreciated. Please respond to post via my e-mail, I don’t have constant access to computer to see a response (and of course, please post for all to see)

Thank you ever so much for your advice and assistance.

Sincerely,
Robin
(mother of 2 cats)

Hi Robin,

This behavior is quite common in cats. To put it quite plainly, you have found a sweet spot that cats love to be petted and scratched. While dogs thump their legs, we tend to try and groom ourselves or others. It is quite comforting to us felines when we bathe eachother, and petting is a form of bathing. Your hands aren’t exactly clean by a cat’s standards, but to each his own, right? Your hands sometimes feel like a giant mother cat’s tongue on our backs and boy does it feel good. When we feel especially good, we have a reflex or instinct to try to return the favor… or in the case of some rather infantile felines, try to nurse. The base of the tail is one of the most sensitive areas on our bodies, so you hit the right spot. If you want you can lay on your stomach and let the cat lick your back too, but we can’t guarantee it would feel quite as good.

Thanks for writing,

Gumbie
Catnabbit!

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It’s been a long time since we’ve had a new TV show to watch that features a cat or cats as the main star. Although the felines are portrayed by human voice actors, Slacker Cats aims to emulate the life of cats in a humorous, yet accurate way. We at Catnabbit got a chance to view the premiere of this new series on ABC Family August 13 and we thought we’d share our initial thoughts and discoveries with our readers.

Buckley is a tubby tuxedo, the more “cultured” of the duo comprising the main characters of the series. If it weren’t for Louise, Buckley’s human and possible love interest, we might suspect that he is gay. Instead we’ll just use the term “metrosexual” to accomodate his love for art, culture, and fuschia fanny-packs. Eddie is Buckley’s best friend, an orange tabby who enjoys mind altering drugs such as catnip. He has not been neutered and thus begins to drool at every opportunity to even lay eyes on a hot female of his species.

Spazzy, annoying, and stupid, Tabitha wears way too much lipstick. Twice in half an hour this mentally ill, necrophiliac cat fell in love with a corpse, one of which wasn’t even from her same species. The other cats don’t seem to be too fond of her, and we’re quite sure the television audience feels the same way. In fact we’re not even sure why she’s on the show, except to provide some comic relief when, someday, she might actually get hit by a truck. Most of us were hoping that she would have gone into the crematorium with her first love, Marmaduke Gingerbits.

Mrs. Boots is (how can we put this delicately) a large and jovial type of cat, most likely a dilute blue persian or ragdoll who is hot with the latest gossip. Hates to be asked about Mr. Boots. She is better than everyone and is not too shy to flaunt it. Further, she shows her rebellion against the humans’ English language by saying “axe” instead of “ask.” Way to go, Mrs. Boots!

Dooper - Filthy, paranoid and afraid of the cat devil. Despite his fears of hell, he participates in a scam to defaud humans of thousands of dollars by crawling into the corpse of a dead cat in order to claim a lost-cat reward. He also agreed to be buried alive temporarily, even though he constantly claims that the cat hell is only inches below the ground and will come bursting out of the cracks at any moment. He’s not quite as annoying as Tabitha, most likely because we can sympathize at least a little bit. Who doesn’t occasionally ponder the possibility of an afterlife? Who hasn’t met someone who stands on the street corners warning of the oncoming apocolypse?

All in all, we think the show was disgusting and not an entirely accurate “slice of life” for feline-kind, but we would watch it again, and again, and again simply because it’s funny. We also want to see Tabitha get hit by a truck. Will you be tuning in next Monday to watch it too?

Links:

Slacker Cats

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