catnabbit!

News, Humor, Jokes and Satire by Cats, for Cats!

Fat Cat Ate Too Much Moo Shu Pork

ACCORDING TO THE SUN ONLINE, there’s a fat cat in Qingdao, China that weighs 15kg. While the 9 year old moggie doesn’t have the world record as the fattest cat (which still belongs to 22kg Himmy of Australia), he certainly is one tubby kitty. The Sun didn’t name the cat, although we’re not sure it could come if you called it anyway. They did, however, state that the cat gained all that weight from eating too much Chinese takeout.

This news comes the day after a documentary about John Keitz aired on the Discovery Channel. The story held people in suspense as they learned about the life of this 750-pound man who struggled with his weight. We suspect that he too ate too much Chinese takeout, although we’ve heard rumors that he also ate too much macaroni and cheese.

Related:

The Sun Online - News: Who ate all the mice?
Washington Post: Large Heart Fails 750-Pound Man

Kitty-Scopes Horoscopes: February 19-25

Here are this week’s Kitty scopes. If you aren’t sure about which Kitty scope belongs to you, check out our article, “What’s my Kitty Scope Sign?” located here.

Tabby cats
According to the author Carl Van Vechten, Each individual cat differs in as many ways as possible from each other individual cat.. Mediate on that this week as you find yourself wondering whether you are blending in with every other cat in the world. Did you know that even clones of cats, with identical DNA, do not look alike? You are a very, very unique individual indeed!

Ticked Tabby cats (Abyssinians)
There is so much that can be said with the eyes. Did you know that you could have an entire argument with someone, using only your eyes? Try practicing this, this week, when you encounter that woman you really dislike. Just remember, paws off, and no hissing. Just stare at her with eyes that tell her, repeatedly, how much you loathe her. It’ll work, I promise.

Torbie cats
Sometime this week, you’re going to experience a rude awakening. I suspect it’ll have something to do with the kitchen sink or the bathtub, perhaps the toilet. Are you going to get a dreaded bath? In order to buy time before the event, ask your human to go fetch the rubber ducky, your special soap-on-a-rope, put your towels in the dryer so that they’re nice and warm afterward. While they aren’t looking, move a curling iron (powered on) near the rim of the tub, then when they have the nerve to put you in the tub, leap over the human’s shoulder, crawling over his back, pushing him into the tub. Be sure to quickly toss the curling iron into the water as soon as you have cleared both the human and the water. You’ll never have to take a bath again.

Tortoiseshell cats
Mark Twain once wrote about a tortoiseshell cat having a fit in a platter of tomatoes, or something like that. This week, your human’s going to have a tomato. Try having a fit in his platter of tomatoes, and your human will be amazed at your literary correlation.

Read the rest of this article »

New Cat Breed Barks Like a Dog

A NEW CAT BREED is making its way onto the books, and this is one you won’t want to miss! Puppykats, a breed developed by Dawn Houston, are a carefully selected mix of Scottish Fold and Manx. With folded ears, bobbed tails, and sometimes even extra toes, they still look like a typical cat. But this breed, says Houston, is really special.

Puppykats were bred to behave like dogs.

Yes, you heard that right. It’s completely true. The Rare and Exotic Feline Registry has accepted the Puppykats as an official breed. According to Cat Channel, the Puppykat can be trained to fetch and even walk on a leash. After learning a little more about this strange and interesting subset of the feline population, Catnabbit has investigated to learn more about this interesting new breed.

In one home study, Stan, a two-year-old Puppykat, was found groping the fire hydrant right outside his home. We asked if we could come in and chat, and he simply wagged his tail and licked our faces. Noticing this familiar behavior, we improvised by swatting a tennis ball toward the door. He immediately chased it and allowed us inside.

Stan’s living room has all the basics you would expect to find in the home of a cat. There’s a scratching post by the wall, a litter box tucked away in a corner, and a basket full of feathered and stringed toys. He even has a jar of catnip on the coffee table. However, this puppykat also has an astonishing number of bizarre belongings. For instance, there are rubber “squeak” toys scattered all over the floor. In front of the fireplace, Stan gnawed on a rawhide “bone” and happily flipped his tail. The most shocking thing happened when his human came home from work.

The puppykat ran to the door, and I kid you not, barked. Just like a dog.

Stan’s human, who asked not to be named in our publication, had a seat and told us more about her special kitty. She said that she purchased her cat from a breeder about two years ago after learning about this new and exciting type of cat. She adores his floppy ears and thinks that he fits the bill exactly as advertised. He does all of the things you would expect a dog to do, and still has many of the traits and features of a cat. She doesn’t have to take the puppykat outside everytime he needs to “potty,” and litter cleanup is very easy!

The only complaint she has for Stan is that he sometimes humps her leg at inappropriate times.

Links:
Rare and Exotic Feline Registry: Puppykats (Includes pictures of puppykats)
Cat Channel: New Cat Breed Thinks Like a Dog
Friday Ark

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