Catnabbit! prides itself on its “all cat” editorial staff. Here, you can learn a little about the feline genius behind the articles at Catnabbit!
Hazel, Head Editor
Since 2002, Hazel has practiced to master the arts of contortion and agility. A born trouble maker with a predisposition for mischief, Hazel also has a tender side, granting her the ability to win the affections of creatures of all sizes. She also hopes to someday join the ranks of “Bonsai Kitten” by intentionally squeezing herself into small confined places. Her pet humans don’t quite understand or approve of her fascination with this, but she thinks she is doing a good job anyway. Though her educational references are slim in nature, her intelligence abounds. She is a great fan of all forms of entertainment, and knows the perfect way to enjoy all sorts of attractions. Her favorite cat toys are fur-covered rattling mice with feather tails, the helicopter cat tree, and anything bathed in catnip. She aspires to one day go on a minimum one-week vacation in the towel closet. She also goes by other nicknames such as “Buckethead”, “Punkun”, “Swee Swee”, and “DAMMIT STOP THAT!”
Gaston, Cat Food Somelier
Named in honor of the famous Gaston Lagaffe, Gaston was born in Montréal, Canada in 1992. He prides himself on being a social drinker who enjoys aftershave and cologne, the sweet music of the canopener (be it tuna or motoroil), and the exquisite comfort of resting against the Dirtdevil “Featherlite” vacuum cleaner. Gaston began his career as an author and editor at a high-profile feline news agency at his home near Dallas, Texas. He has given a number of presentations and speeches on hot issues such as, “Where has all the tuna gone?” as well as anti-war protests and the legalization of catnip in his locality. In conversation one will find that he is Québecois at heart. He is bilingual but prefers to speak French only, and will usually begin his dictation with “Moi, moi, moi.”
He’s also as fat as a bowl of poutine. And he snores.
Maria “Psycho” Callas, Refridgerdustologer
Raised in a magnificent row-house in Verdun, Québec, Maria “Psycho” Callas earned the prestigious “alpha female” title when she was a kitten. She enjoys warm fleece blankets, being scratched on the chin, and being told that she’s right. La Belle Madame Callas also has some unique abilities to call her own. These include telling the future: reading catnip leaves, sniffing shoes, and studying the dust patterns behind the refridgerator. Her favorite place to cozy up at the end of the day is a crinkly cotton cat tunnel covered in yellow nylon. When feeling adventurous, she goes on expeditions into the unknown regions of the kitchen cupboards. Her one wish is to boldly go where no cat has gone before.
Subbes, Undercover Canine
It’s no secret that some people thinks that Subbes the Cat might actually be Subbes the Dog. Breaking the scales at 20 pounds (about 9 kilos), 65% of which is fur, he measures 3 feet (1 meter) from the tip of his nose to the tip of his tail. He currently purchases his clothing and fashion accessories such as collars from the dog section, the latest “Big & Tall” for cats. Due to his large size, Subbes has an advantage because he can reach places that other cats can not. This has made him an expert on everything, everyone and everywhere. His favorite food: everything. His favorite place to sleep: everywhere. His favorite toy: everything. His favorite person: everyone. In his free time, he enjoys singing, long-distance sprinting, and cleaning carefully between his toes. His arch-enemy is the litterbox, and he spends several hours each day beating the sides of it. One day, he will win. Subbes a charter member of the amateur circuit for competitive sleeping, thus the origins of the the phrase “sleeping your way to the top.” Since he has honorary degrees in feline psychology and sociology, he teaches courses on feline dominance and the proper order of a cat’s belongings in the household. His future aspiration is to market Cosmic Catnip to a broader feline population.
Gumbie, Junior Editor
Gumbie is the newest member of the Catnabbit! family, and not much is known about him at this time. He is eager to learn the ropes and help report on Sports and Youth Activities for Cats. He likes sleeping, climbing, and string. He dislikes the unholy vacuum beast and being called an inverted skunk. He teaches Yoga on Monday nights and is always looking for new students.
