FORT THOMAS, KY - A cat is sulking around his home today after a misunderstanding led to a trip to a veterinarian instead of the doctor.
Stinker, a blue-haired, copper-eyed chartreux cat from Kentucky, was forcefully subjected to reproductive sterilization on Friday when he asked his human to be neutered. Although the cat has never fathered any kittens, he did enjoy his life of being intact. “I didn’t want to be neutered,” he meowed. “I wanted my human to be neutered.”
It is true that Jonathan Hornsby of Fort Thomas has several children. In fact, the man has thirteen kids, all living in his home. To Stinker, it seems as though every time Mr. Hornsby leaves the house, he brings home another little human. World overpopulation has reached a crisis level many years ago, as the birth rate has far exceeded the amount of resources that are available on the planet. Due to modern medical technology, humans are living longer and more human children are reaching reproductive adulthood, causing a population explosion. Surgical spay/neuter procedures are not widely accepted among humans.
In addition to contributing largely to world overpopulation, the cat says his human, Jonathan Hornsby, exhibits other unpleasant behavior problems that are linked to having too much testosterone. For instance, Stinker states that Mr. Hornsby goes out every night and parties until 3 o’clock in the morning. He also gets in fights with other men who come into the house, often causing serious injury. Two weeks ago, the man reportedly slapped a pizza delivery boy simply because he asked for payment. The police have also arrested Mr. Hornsby on four occasions because he was urine-marking his territory in public. Two times, this occurred in other men’s yards, on one occasion a government building, and on one occasion he marked an ice cream truck.
According to research, orchidectomy, that is, removing the testicles, can reduce these behaviors. Additionally, it can offer health benefits such as reducing the risk of prostate cancer and heart disease. Stinker simply asked the human to be neutered, and Mr. Hornsby apparently took the question to mean that the cat wished to be neutered. In fact, this was quite the opposite.
Stinker’s pride is wounded, but he still hopes that the human will make the right decision soon.