Hello, my name is Gaston and I am one of the feline editors here at Catnabbit. I’d like to talk to you today about the raw cat food controversy.
There seems to be a number of humans who believe that we cats should eat the same kinds of foods that we ate thousands of years ago when there were no modern-day conveniences such as microwaves, stoves, can-openers and stainless steel dishes. Back then, our ancestors killed rodents and lived off of their flesh, bones, fur and feathers. We didn’t have humans to cut up and cook our food for us. There weren’t factories that could boil and seal a can full of flavorful stinky goodness for us. All we got was rodents and the occasional “table scrap” if we found a human that felt like sharing.
Fast forward thousands of years to today. Humans have McDonald’s, and we have Meow Mix, which said in reverse becomes McMeow. Of course this isn’t a healthy diet, and our increasingly porky humans are feeding us quite well. Well, “us” as in the collective feline population. The Catnabbit! household actually dines on the premium kibble, and we enjoy it nicely.
The question came up recently whether we might be in better health if we were able to ditch the carbs of dry food and go back to eating that diet we had thousands of years ago. Listen to me. Cats, don’t stand for it. You have the power of your finicky desires to refuse this joke. It isn’t about our health. Humans are getting as lazy as they are fat. They don’t even want to turn the can opener anymore. They just want to pull the chicken out of the fridge and throw it in front of you. You don’t get the joy of killing it, you don’t get to pick it apart. You just get a slab of salmonella-ridden meat that your human is too lazy to cook. “Raw cat food” is another word for “human too lazy to prepare food.”
Don’t stand for it.
Your pet humans are your pets, and they are also your slaves. You have charged them with your care and you must insist on nothing less than the best in food. If they are too lazy to prepare your food, then have them invest in a quality dry cat food dispenser and fill it up with something really high quality, like Science Diet, Purina DM cat food, or Life’s Abundance cat food. Heck, even cheap cat food would do the trick as long as it smells and tastes good to you. At least it won’t kill you.
Remember that the cats who lived thousands of years ago also had a life expectancy MUCH shorter than we have now. That’s because they didn’t have can openers!
Now, if your human is just tired of giving you something they got at a store, then maybe they should consider cooking for you. Gourmet cat food made by a chef is really great stuff. My human mentioned a recipe for homemade cat food that included salmon and avocado, but she can’t find it or else I would be posting it right here for you to print out today. The point is, you could eat a lot of things that require preparation and if your human wants to prepare you a special feast, he should do so, and frequently! Just make sure to lay off on the onions, since onions are poisonous to cats.
As a cat, you have a responsibility to keep your human in check and make sure that he provides you with a nutritious diet that is also healthy to eat. Raw food is not healthy and it is just a lazy way out. Make your human work the can opener, fill your dish with dry food, or prepare you a gourmet feast. Ask your human this — would he eat it? If he thinks he could die from a bacterial infection from eating it, then it is probably not safe for you. If he wouldn’t eat it just because he thinks it smells bad, or because he wants cow milk in his dry food, then that’s okay for you. There’s a difference between tasty and safe. There’s a difference between nutritious, and nutritious and safe.
So, say it after me:
Get in the kitchen and make me some veal!
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