DETROIT, MI - Humans yelled, whistled, and cheered as Bubba the cat lapped away at a massive bowl of milk on Sunday afternoon. According to sources, Bubba scored a touchdown at the bottom of the Super Bowl of milk in a record-setting 1 minute and 53 seconds, beating his predecessor Spike by 13 seconds. A veterinarian was invited to this Super Bowl party, so safety would be of highest concern. Bubba the cat said that his goal was 1 minute and 30 seconds to finish the Super Bowl, but he’s pleased that he even saw the bottom line in the dish. He is the first feline to compete in any Super Bowl contest, and is excited to be this year’s winner. His humans were too busy watching television to provide a comment.

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ALABAMA - Like the children in her house, Sunny the cat was thrilled when she found that a circus was coming to her locality. Having never seen one, she anticipated the day that she could meet big cats like the lions and tigers that live in the circus. When the circus finally arrived, Sunny anxiously begged to come along with her humans for the festivities.

This was not any ordinary circus, as Sunny soon found out. She had in fact been taken to the Flea Circus. Sunny watched in horror as tiny acrobat fleas turned over quarters, crawled across tight ropes, lept from heights into tiny cups of water, and even pulled around tiny chariots using a wires strapped around their bodies. “If they can pull those little carts around, what could they do to me?” she mewed as a unicycling flea flung itself past her head. She also states that she might have seen one flea dressed as a clown. For the grand finale, the fleas lined up and bounced in time with an obscure show tune.

The “flea circus” has been a popular topic in debates for decades because many wonder if the fleas are in fact “real.” Although the fleas are real, they are still considered harmful and dangerous, and therefore cats should avoid them at all costs. If you encounter a flea claiming to be a flea circus performer, you should immediately seek treatment and extermination with an appropriate flea killer.

Luckily, Sunny uses Revolution for flea control and therefore did not bring home any of the performers.

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If you cats are bored with your pet goldfish, you might take a lesson from these guys. Kyle and Dean Pomerleau are on to something — they’ve taught football to a fish! The two are quickly gaining fame after they have taught a fantail goldfish not only how to play football, but also soccer and how to “dance” the limbo. On their website, which includes videos of their fishes’ fiascos, they sell an e-book and even a training kit to teach your fish these amazing tricks! Supposedly, their technique works for Bettas, Goldfish, Oscars, Parrot Cichlids and other fish too.

Here are some tricks that Catnabbit! suggests you try teaching your pet fish:

Operate a tiny can-opener
Dangle a piece of string
Leap fearlessly into your mouth
Float upside down (”Play Dead”)
Sing “Under the Sea” in the Key of Z flat
Demi-pliés for a part in Swan Lake

Thanks to Madame Blackjack for the tip!

Related:
Fish School
Fish School Webcam

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