An anonymous group of cats are considering the purchase of the Titan 1 ICBM missle base located in Washington State for the use of Catnip Storage in the event of a national emergency. This one-of-a-kind auction is the first in which cats have considered a large real estate purchase for the protection of catnip.

With three 155-foot tall missle silos and fourteen-foot thick walls, the facility’s buildings are built to withstand a one megaton nuclear blast. There are also a dozen other buildings underground which could house a number of kitty condos, cat toys, kitty treats, laser pointers and other feline necessities.

The main focus of the purchase, however, is for the storage of catnip in the event of a national emergency. The capacity of the missle silos should be useful for the containment of several tons of catnip herb and catnip toys. Should the country be devastated by a nuclear emergency, the group of cats plans to live “high on the hog” so to speak.

Bidding is already at USD $750,000 but the cats are prepared to deal with the threat of an auction sniper if necessary. The eBay auction has been listed for some days but is scheduled to end on May 11.

Related Link:
Titan 1 ICBM Missle Base on eBay

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ACCORDING TO THE SUN ONLINE, there’s a fat cat in Qingdao, China that weighs 15kg. While the 9 year old moggie doesn’t have the world record as the fattest cat (which still belongs to 22kg Himmy of Australia), he certainly is one tubby kitty. The Sun didn’t name the cat, although we’re not sure it could come if you called it anyway. They did, however, state that the cat gained all that weight from eating too much Chinese takeout.

This news comes the day after a documentary about John Keitz aired on the Discovery Channel. The story held people in suspense as they learned about the life of this 750-pound man who struggled with his weight. We suspect that he too ate too much Chinese takeout, although we’ve heard rumors that he also ate too much macaroni and cheese.

Related:

The Sun Online - News: Who ate all the mice?
Washington Post: Large Heart Fails 750-Pound Man

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Fargo, ND - A vicious bed monster’s reign of terror was ended Thursday when local cats apprehended the beast.

Since 2003, a frightening lump in the bed has been terrorizing local cats who have tried frantically to capture it. “It was always on the move,” says an anonymous witness. “Just when I thought I would catch it, it always got away.” The lump in the bed has been sighted in several households, always an uninvited guest. During a usual attack, the lump moves back and forth along a bed, frightening cats and humans alike. Although no casualties have been reported, two victims have been treated for injury when the lump bit their paws.

Due to the high profile of the lump’s activity, many copycat cases have also evolved. In those cases, the imposter turned out to be only a human hand, human foot, or another cat. No other arrests have been made at this time.

The bed lump monster, whose identity is still being confirmed, is now facing 23 counts of breaking & entering, 82 counts of scaring the feces out of a cat (Penal Code 91-C violation), and 147 counts of evading arrest. A preliminary interview with the lump’s attorney has yielded little information, but witnesses have reported that the lump claims it can nuzzle its way under the usual “paperwork shuffle” and evade justice yet again.

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