We cats enjoy when humans spend a little time cleaning our litter boxes, and we enjoy even more when a human ensures that we have a self cleaning litter box available. What we don’t enjoy is when a human fouls up an entire room of the house and does not clean his own litter box properly. Today, Catnabbit brings you a video of a cat who must obsessively clean his human’s litterbox in order to maintain freshness in his own home.

Press the “Play” button to view the video.

“He’s faster at flushing than I am,” one human exclaimed, implying that repetitive flushing is clearly a necessity. The flushing feline, who asked to remain anonymous, stated that he must clean his human’s litter box up to ten times a minute after it has been soiled. In addition to frequent flushing, he wipes the bowl and tests the water to check that it is sufficiently clear of the human’s waste. He also checks behind the bowl to make sure that his human did not miss and deposit any waste on the floor.

During the course of the exclusive Catnabbit! interview with The Flusher, we found that despite his humans’ apparent shock during the video segment, the humans have actually had a chronic problem with smelly litterbox habits. The Flusher has, in fact, been slowly perfecting his cleansing techniques over the course of his entire life.

In a world where it is commonly said that you should do unto others what you would like to have done unto you, we can only hope that the humans are just as good about taking care of The Flusher’s cat litter as well.

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Excerpts From A Cat’s Guide To Human Beings

Why Do We Need Humans?

So you’ve decided to get yourself a human being. In doing so, you’ve joined the millions of other cats who have acquired these strange and often frustrating creatures. There will be any number of times, during the course of your association with humans, when you will wonder why you have bothered to grace them with your presence.

What’s so great about humans, anyway? Why not just hang around with other cats? Our greatest philosophers have struggled with this question for centuries, but the answer is actually rather simple:

THEY HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS.

Which makes them the perfect tools for such tasks as opening doors, getting the lids off of cat food cans, changing television stations and other activities that we, despite our other obvious advantages, find difficult to do ourselves. True, chimps, orangutans and lemurs also have opposable thumbs, but they are nowhere as easy to train.

How And When to Get Your Human’s Attention

Humans often erroneously assume that there are other, more important activities than taking care of your immediate needs, such as conducting business, spending time with their families or even sleeping.

Though this is dreadfully inconvenient, you can make this work to your advantage by pestering your human at the moment it is the busiest. It is usually so flustered that it will do whatever you want it to do, just to get you out of its hair. Not coincidentally, human teenagers follow this same practice.

Here are some tried and true methods of getting your human to do what you want:

Sitting on paper: An oldie but a goodie. If a human has paper in front of it, chances are good it’s something they assume is more important than you. They will often offer you a snack to lure you away. Establish your supremacy over this wood pulp product at every opportunity. This practice also works well with computer keyboards, remote controls, car keys and small children.

Waking your human at odd hours: A cat’s golden time is between 3:30 and 4:30 in the morning. If you paw at your human’s sleeping face during this time, you have a better than even chance that it will get up and, in an incoherent haze, do exactly what you want. You may actually have to scratch deep sleepers to get their attention remember to vary the scratch site to keep the human from getting suspicious.

Punishing Your Human Being

Sometimes, despite your best training efforts, your human will stubbornly resist bending to your whim. In these extreme circumstances, you may have to punish your human. Obvious punishments, such as scratching furniture or eating household plants, are likely to backfire–the unsophisticated humans are likely to misinterpret the activities and then try to discipline YOU. Instead, we offer these subtle but nonetheless effective alternatives:

Use the cat box during an important formal dinner.

Stare impassively at your human while it is attempting a romantic interlude.

Stand over an important piece of electronic equipment and feign a hairball attack.

After your human has watched a particularly disturbing horror film, stand by the hall closet and then slowly back away, hissing and yowling.

While your human is sleeping, lie on its face.

Rewarding Your Human: Should Your Gift Still Be Alive?

The cat world is divided over the etiquette of presenting humans with the thoughtful gift of a recently disemboweled animal. Some believe that humans prefer these gifts already dead, while others maintain that humans enjoy a slowly expiring cricket or rodent just as much as we do, given their jumpy and playful movements in picking the creatures up after they’ve been presented.

After much consideration of the human psyche, we recommend that cold-blooded animals (large insects, frogs, lizards, garden snakes and the occasional earthworm) should be presented dead, while warm-blooded animals (birds, rodents, your neighbor’s Pomeranian) are better still living. When you see the expression on your human’s face, you’ll know it’s worth it.

How Long Should You Keep Your Human?

You are only obligated to your human for one of your lives. The other eight are up to you. We recommend mixing and matching, though in the end, most humans (at least the ones that are worth living with) are pretty much the same. But what do you expect? They’re humans, after all. Opposable thumbs will only take you so far.

Original Author Unknown

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It’s a problem every pet owner must face: Dealing with your pet shedding his fur. We cats have enough trouble dealing with shedding of our own, but our pet humans are the absolute worst when it comes to their fur! While some humans only deposit their smelly fur in our comfortable beds, or what they like to call “laundry baskets,” others leave their dirty coverings all over the house! An unclean environment littered by smelly human fur can cause problems such as pet allergies. Yes, you can be allergic to your human! So, if you are plagued with pet shedding problems, here are some tips for you!

1. Move your comfortable basket over on its side. If your human can not deposit his fur into your cat basket, then maybe he will be more inclined to leave his sheddings in the giant purr box instead (humans call this a “washing machine”). You can still sleep in your basket with it turned over. In fact, if you turn it upside-down, it doubles as a protective fortress for you to peer out amongst your enemies and not be seen.

2. Pets are confused when you encourage their poor activity. Therefore, if you play with a bit of fur that your pet recently shed, then you should put it in the giant purr box when you are through with it, instead of leaving it in the middle of the floor. This way, your pet human will learn the correct behavior to emulate.

3. The bathroom is the worst place in the house for pet shedding. Who likes to take a bath and then step out into a pile of fur? Discourage your human’s poor behavior by putting his fur in the tub or toilet where they can be washed down the drain. If the drain clogs, just use one of those long metal snakes to push it out.

4. Remind your pet human that you wear your fur all the time, and he can wear his too. You bathe in your fur, so can he. You sleep in your fur, so can he. You don’t even take off your fur to go to the litterbox or go (shudder) swimming. If it’s good enough for a cat, it’s good enough for his pets!

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