Here are this week’s Kitty scopes. If you aren’t sure about which Kitty scope belongs to you, check out our article, “What’s my Kitty Scope Sign?” located here.
Tabby cats
Your interpretation of weather signals may be a little out-of-whack this week. Although you’ll be feeling adventurous in the outdoors side of life, we don’t think you should do any major activities such as bungee jumping, rock climbing, or skydiving. In fact, take a flashlight with you, just in case you get locked out late at night.
Ticked Tabby cats (Abyssinians)
It’s going to be almost impossible to contain yourself when you discover that your human has slept past 7:05 am and your food dish is still empty. Remain calm, (s)he should be allowed to sleep until at least 7:06 before you unleash your unholy terror.
Torbie cats
This week, you will come into an overabundance of string. Use it in new and creative ways, for instance you can use it to tie up your mouse to the leg of the kitchen table, leaving it as a warning to all other mice that may venture near.
Tortoiseshell cats
Today, try sampling a taste of your human’s drink. Is he having soda, beer, wine, or juice? If you have a pinky toe or claw, be sure to raise it as you tip the glass back (or is that forward?)
Calico cats
No matter what anyone else says, this week, you ARE a pretty kitty and you smell like roses.
Bi-color cats
All right, you checked in the cabinets, the closets, the floorboards, the air and heating ducts, under all the furniture, and you still can’t figure out what is making that noise. If it’s not a mouse, you don’t know what it is. Well, we do. If you are still interested please call us at our 1-900 number listed at the bottom of the page, for $40 a minute and 99 cents each additional 10 seconds. Be aware there might be a long hold time, since there are a lot of cats who want to know the same answer!P.S. Just kidding. It’s the economy.
Harlequin cats
Stop beating around the bush. Try beating around the catnip plant or the catgrass plant instead. Eat it first if you like it.
Van cats
The dustologer has spoken: Sleep is in the works for you this week. You’d like to take a swim, but it’s just too cold outside. Improvise by taking a quick dip in the toilet. Towel off in the bedroom closet.
Solid cats
There’s “take your son to work day” and “take your daughter to work day” at schools, but when is it ever “take your cat to work day” with your humans? You’ll show them who’s in charge. Just crawl into the briefcase and head off to the office with them. Remember that lady by the copy machine your human is always complaining about? She’s allergic to cats. Go pay her a visit.
Tuxedo cats
Your human brought home a really expensive yet ugly rug that you just can’t stand. You want it out of the house, or at least out of your favorite sitting room. We have some advice for you. You know that noise you make when you are coughing a hairball? Yeah, just wait until your human is all relaxed and then start making that noise all over that carpet, and refuse to budge from it. Keep doing this until your human is too afraid to keep the rug in the room for fear you might accidentally destroy it. Oh yeah, you might want to leave a hairball on it a couple of times, just so you don’t get carted off to the vet just for faking it.
Pointed cats (Siamese)
This week, you’ll be feeling fewer inhibitions. Let this be your week to be whatever you want to be. Run around and bark like a dog, pee on fire hydrants, and chew up the newspaper. Sit on the toilet with the newspaper parts all over the bathroom floor. Relax on your human’s favorite pair of slippers with a pipe or cigar under your paw. Yeah, this is the life. Just for a week.