Here are this week’s Kitty scopes. If you aren’t sure about which Kitty scope belongs to you, check out our article, “What’s my Kitty Scope Sign?” located here. We apologize for the delay in publishing the ’scopes this week. We had to care for our human who has become very ill.
Tabby cats
You believe you have hit the smoked tuna motherlode when your human brings home a package cleverly disguised as a 10-pound ham. As you stash and unwrap the package, you’ll discover that you have been thwarted, and it is instead filled with useless hundred-dollar bills.
Ticked Tabby cats (Abyssinians)
This week you will peek into the backyard with your binoculars and identify a new species of bird. Write a poem about the experience and send it to a poetry contest, so that it will be published. Your humans will be so proud, they’ll have to reward you by buying you that kitty spa you always wanted.
Torbie cats
This week you read a book by Nicole Hollander and discovered that your true ancestry is not from some line of cats that migrated from Asia, but instead you came from the cat astronauts of the planet Hsif. Prepare your belongings in anticipation for the day that the astronaut cats of Hsif will return and take you home!
Tortoiseshell cats
This week, someone’s going to put a sign on your butt that says “kick me.” The question is, do you want to present your butt to everyone to find out if they will take it off?
Calico cats
Consider putting your hobbies to use. You dislike dogs, and you love string. Have you thought about tying the dog to the table?
Bi-color cats
Is it just me or is your belly rubbing on the ground when you walk? That’s no way to treat that pristine white tummy! Start a workout program this week, by chasing something for half an hour a day. You’ll feel better and have to spend less time bathing as a result!
Harlequin cats
Hairballs got you down? Give your human a sign. Since you don’t have thumbs and can’t get the top off the hairball treatment tube, try replacing your human’s toothpaste tube with the hairball medication tube. If that doesn’t work, you could always leave the hairball on the toothbrush!
Van cats
Amidst all the chaos in your life, you seem to have lost your rhythm. What you need is a schedule. Organize your day in order of your priorities. For instance:7:00 Wake up human
7:10 Wake up human again (if he’s a snoozer)
7:30 Breakfast
7:45 Bath
8:00 Nap
12:00 Snack
12:30 Bath
1:00 Nap
Solid cats
The sun is coming out, and the windows are warming up! Time to open the curtains and let the sunshine in. If you are feeling decorative, maybe you could consider tearing small slits in the curtains to let a little light in while they are closed, too!
Tuxedo cats
Pardon me, do you have any grey poupon? Ask your human this question every day this week, and you’ll find that your meals have a new and interesting flavor!
Pointed cats (Siamese)
This week, your human is going to try to do something really crazy like dress you in a tutu or paint your claws purple. Avoid all trips to the groomer, and if at all possible, avoid your human too. We hear the corner of the closet is a nice place this time of year.