Since 1935, Jaguar automobiles have been a symbol of luxury and sport the world over. Usually characterized by their hood ornament, a silver or gold “leaping Jaguar,” automobiles carrying this brand are worth massive amounts of money and are generally owned only by rich humans who collect expensive cars. While cats have been honored over the decades to be idolized in this manner, there is growing offense at a certain rich jerk who has taken his car collection to the next level.
In Los Angeles, California, a rich jerk by the name of Richard Head has a thing for what he calls, “The Real Deal.” On his personal Jaguar automobile (which he pronounces Jag-Yar) he had his staff remove the manufacturer’s hood ornament and and replace it with a real, live gold-colored kitten. Since cats can live for approximately 20 years, he expects that he will not have to pay for a replacement hood ornament for quite some time.
In an exclusive interview, Mr. Head tells Catnabbit! that he conceived this idea for a unique hood ornament after viewing websites such as BonsaiKitten.com. After discovering that Bonsai Kitten is a hoax when he tried to purchase a Bonsai Kitten hood ornament for his Jaguar, he decided to go the extra mile and have his staff design a unique hood ornament which he claims will both capture the spirit of the Jaguar automobile and be as real as a cat itself. Since real Jaguar felines are not available in a size small enough to be used as a hood ornament, he chose instead a small kitten which he believes will not grow much larger than the average housecat.
Mr. Head tells us that his feline hood ornament has been trained to pose in a menacing manner, which he expects to act as an excellent theft deterrant system.
I certainly hope his staff had a hard enough time and got at least a nasty scratch with a mild infection while trying to remove the original ornament. I have it from excellent and reliable sources that they are among the most difficult to remove among current production vehicles.
this isn’t real right?
My cat’s breath smells like cat food
This is clearly a photomontage. The kitten on the hood is taken from a photograph which has been made the rounds on the animal-picture-email circuit!
That photograph that made the rounds was clearly a photomontage taken from this photo. Our sources are very accurate, after all, this is “News Cats Can Trust”
Catymology: Carnival of the Vanities #193…
Speaking up, speaking out. Musing, pondering, ruminating. Actually thinking. Instructing. Reminiscing. Provoking. Questioning. The entries in COTV #193 read like a thesaurus entry on human communication ……
There’s actually a internet marketer called Rich Jerk, I did a search for him and got shocked that he might use cat ornaments on his cars.
Check out his webpage:
http://www.therichjerk.com
Just something to share…