DALLAS, TX - Citizens were stunned when they discovered that giant terrorist kittens had overtaken the downtown area of Dallas Wednesday evening.
It was an otherwise uneventful day in the downtown area that was interrupted in the late afternoon hours when two very large kittens thudded their way into the busy district. People ran from buildings, women screamed and huddled over their babies. Cars wrecked as people looked above them to see the fuzzy beasts romping around. At first, they were most interested in swatting the power lines and the Dallas Area Rapid Transit (DART) Rail Cars, but soon their interest turned towards the famous 70-story giant Jenga Tower. The two loudly mewed their demands - five thousand bowls of milk - but authorities were not eager to compromise. Therefore, the kittens knocked over the tower with three strong whips of their tails, then ran away. Although no casualties are reported, rebuilding the tower could reach unimagineably high costs.
Dallas-area authorities have raised the terror alert status to “Red” until the giant felines have been apprehended.