AUSTIN, TEXAS - He’s driven cars over cliffs, crashed into other cars, and even flown alien spaceships into the Washington Monument. In a written statement to the Texas Department of Public Safety, Toonces, a black and grey tabby cat famous for his expeditions on the television show Saturday Night Live, has applied for a drivers’ license. According to the Texas DPS, Toonces “the driving cat” has been denied driving priviledges due to public distrust in the cat’s navigational faculties because of his appearances on television.
According to a Maverick Times article,
But Toonces just can’t help himself… he’s crashed alien spaceships into the Washington Monument, impersonated a chauffeur, driven off the Grand Canyon, ridden a mechanical bull, daydreamed he spoke in both French and English, and even became the Tooncinator, an advanced cyborg wearing leather and shades, impervious to bullets and car crashes - or so he thought!
Toonces has now stated that the television show was featuring him as an actor and he was not actually driving the vehicles pictured falling off of cliffs and plowing into other vehicles. He also denies fatally killing Flippy the Flipping Chihuahua in a car accident, as well as another incident running over a croquet ball with a lawnmower, injuring his next door neighbor. In the driving cat’s statement, he repeats that none of the victims of the televised car crashes were injured or killed. He also expresses a desire to alert the public that he plans to drive responsibly in the future.
To back this up, records show that Toonces has completed feline obediance courses, defensive kitty driving, as well as drivers’ education classes for cats. Veterinarians have evaluated Toonces’s physical health and he appears to be both mentally alert and sober. Alcohol-related accidents are the number one cause of death in the State of Texas. Additionally, catnip has been found to inhibit a feline’s ability to drive safely.
The Texas Department of Public Safety, which has been known to deny feline driving priviledges in the past, has declined to comment as to what their decision will be. Until then, this famous tabby cat will probably have to stay curbed.
Click here to view a clip of video footage. More video related to Toonces the Driving Cat and Saturday Night Live is available and can be found on VHS at Amazon.com. Click here
[...] D’accord, d’accord. Donc, comme je le disait, ce brillant Zeus a aussi des entrevues notables, tel une conversation avec Toonces, le chat qui conduit (notre site Anglophone à aussi eu un entretient avec Toonces’) ainsi qu’avec Azrael des Schtroumfs. Il a aussi un oeil sur quelques acteurs félins et peut aussi enseigner les maths à un humain en utilisant du thon en guise d’example. Que peut-il ne pas faire? [...]
[...] Okay, okay. So as I was saying, the brilliant Zeus also has some interviews that are of worthy note, such as a chat with Toonces, the driving cat (Remember when we covered him?) and Azrael from the smurfs. He has a keen eye on fabulous feline actors and can teach mathematics to a human using tuna as a guide. What can’t this cat do? [...]