It has driven cats crazy for long enough; now it is time to reel the Red Dot in. For years, the infamous laser pointer has teased and taunted the world’s cats, who have bravely chased and swatted at it until they have been left breathless. The Red Dot even registered a United States Patent, (United States Patent 5443036: “Method of exercising a cat”) as a testament to its vigilance at disrupting peaceful cats’ rest and relaxation routines.
It is possible that the “Red Dot” laser pointer may be hanging out with a blue or green laser pointer. It is also likely that the pregnant pop singer Britney Spears could be involved, as described in the Britney Spears guide to Semiconductor Physics. According to websites, she has been known to give dissertations on the inner workings of lasers, and therefore may have information on where this Red Dot can be found.
Cats everywhere are implored to locate and apprehend the Red Dot, also known as “Rotating Laser,” “Laser Pointer,”
or “Laser Beam.” There is a $2500 reward for information leading its arrest. That adds up to almost 39 pounds of Cosmic Catnip
.
Under no circumstances should any cat look directly at the Red Dot. It should be apprehended as carefully as possible, as the Laser Pointer is considered to be armed and dangerous.