Winky the Safety Cat was one of the first cats with frickin’ laserbeams. He rode in the backs of peoples’ cars and signaled when the car signaled. However, the flashing red eyes must have caused several wrecks and murdered several people, because the original Winky family is no longer in business.
Now, cats who live in trepidation of cats with frickin’ laserbeams may have a little more to fear: a man who is clearly not a veterinarian has posted dialog and step-by-step instructions as to how one may install frickin’ laserbeams in their own cat, thus making their own Winky the White Cat at home.
This laser eye surgery, once thought to be an expensive and dangerous process, has been simplified to the point that nearly any human could complete the process. cats should beware any humans holding feline wiring diagrams, a large stuffed cat that they “practice on,” replacement veins, arteries, and neural wiring that the human calls “electrical wiring.” The cause for highest alarm should be the presence of laser pointers in the home. Laser technology has advanced to include green laser pointers and blue ones, so that humans could even attempt to match the true colors of cats’ eyes. A cat with a laser eye is considered to be highly dangerous and one should never look such a cat in the eye.
Jessi Garza, a cat advocate from New Jersey, states that cats with frickin’ laserbeams are harmless, but the laser eye surgery could pose a danger if not completed by a licensed veterinarian.
Link:
Jalopnik: Wanky the Safety Cat (with instructions)